Fire Emblem Awakening: Perma-death Diaries, Vol. 2


Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! I lost two more units today! TWO! Okay, so that’s a couple more units snatched to hell. So much for my vow. Frederick and little Ricken have fallen victim to a clearly superior Spotpass opponent. I reached for the stars, and the boys ate dirt. Luckily, neither of these characters has ovaries and, therefore, they can be easily replaced. I am now about 40 hours into the game and I would say that at least 15 of those hours were pure grinding. However, it appears that I did not spend enough of that time grinding the freshly deceased pair, as they were picked off by the enemy’s units like turtle babies to a rocket-powered laser hawk…or just a regular seagull. Honestly, anything could kill a baby turtle. At least I have learned to make sure that I have backup units with ample power for the larger scale battles.


The baby turtle's only known predator: Anything that can fit a quarter in its mouth.

The baby turtle’s only known predator: Anything that can fit a quarter in its mouth.

My focus at this point has turned solely toward breeding my characters to create the most powerful children possible. The whole experience has essentially turned into Pokémon for the time being; morphed into a carefully devised game of DNA mix-‘em-up to create fighters with the power, speed, and skills to murder anything that comes at them. I finally understand how Brock must have felt. Cranking out overpowered killing machines is what he and I were made to do.

I think I will be ready to jump back into the story after about 5 more hours of pure grinding, if all goes right. With the release of the EXPonential Growth DLC, leveling up has become easier and safer than before. I have even started using Kellam again to secure his sweet, defensive man-juice of steel for little Nowi. Putting that hulking mound out to stud with what is essentially a little girl irks me just a little, but that’s the name of the game. Hopefully, the sheer impenetrability of their offspring should justify the abomination that must take place to accommodate her conception. The things we do for perfection.


Jon Malloy

Jon Malloy

Senior Writer & Editor at What's Jump?
Jon is a writer and co-founder of “What’s Jump?” With a passion for gaming, comedy, and discussion, Jon works to bring his unique views, along with a bit of humor, to his writing. With a background in information technology and development, his interests lean toward the newest trends and technological advancements. Reporting for “What’s Jump?” he is at home both behind the scenes and in front of the camera.
Jon Malloy
Jon Malloy

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