There’s No Old News in Gaming

Flies bugging an apartment are bugging flies.

Sometimes, it’s not good to be late to the party.  For example, when the zombie outbreak occurs, you should probably arrive promptly for the Red Cross’ “Limited Immunization Social.”  Then again, there are occasions when arriving late to the party is not only acceptable, but remarkably advantageous.  If Tiffany invites you to the secret senior kegger, and you don’t want to seem overly eager, show up a little late.  When you parachute in from your stretch-helicopter, aloofly, she’ll have no idea that you’re crazy about her.  As she fights for positioning to catch the jewelry showering down from the barrel of your diamond cannon, she’ll think, “I’m not sure if he’s interested.  I mean, he’s slightly late.”

Periodically, Steam has a giant sale, and I am reminded why being late to the party can be a wonderful accident.  Last year was a great year for games, but how many games can a single person play in a year?  I probably spent half of that time playing Dark Souls, and the other half was spent repairing the controllers I threw out the window from invasion-rage.  Granted, I generally do a fairly good job of sampling the lot since I write these blurbicles, but I have a full-time job on top of this (sponsorship, anyone?).   If the closing Gatling gun battle in The Last Samurai taught me anything, it’s that no matter how hard you try, you’re bound to miss one (the white one).  In this case, I guess I missed about ten, because that’s how many games I bought during the sale.  I know you have probably already played these games, but I still want to talk about them, so I’ll assume you still want to listen.  For the next couple weeks, I will be delivering a series of artiblurbs called “Late to the Party,” detailing my experiences with the games that the rest of you have already played.  In keeping with the hype around Dark Knight Rises, I’ll be diving into Arkham City tonight.

One downside to playing these critically-acclaimed games so long after their releases is that it is nearly impossible to avoid spoilers.  Actually, these days, it’s hard enough avoiding spoilers before games are released.  Remember that sense of amazement you had when you first booted up Metal Gear Solid 4?  Remember how the butterflies spun in your stomach when you first saw Raiden executing his aerial dance of death?  Of course you don’t.  When studios crank up the hype-machine two years before their games go into beta, it becomes a little hard to be stunned by anything.  For those of us with an active internet connection, playing a new game has basically been reduced to planning your own surprise party.  So, being that the games I’m currently playing are far from new, I will try to be fair in removing the spoiler factor from my critiques.  In the case of Arkham City, I have already read the reviews, I have seen dozens of gameplay videos, and my friend Brian has already told me that it is “good” and “totally Batman.”  (He will not be added to the writing staff anytime soon).  Hopefully, that will not ruin too much of my experience.  Anyway, I have to cut this short.  I have a surprise party to plan.

[For those keeping track, that’s two Last Samurai Gatling gun battle references in two blarticlurbs. How stupid is that scene?]

Thomas Shamburger
Thomas is one of the original creators of "What's Jump?" As a lifelong gamer, writer, and comedian, his goal is to provide readers with humorous, entertaining, and thought-provoking perspectives on current gaming news and culture. His early career successes in the business world helped to pave the way for the site's launch in 2012. As the Editor in Chief of "What's Jump?" he combines his passions for gaming, writing, entrepreneurship, and comedy.
Thomas Shamburger
Thomas Shamburger

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