Titanfall Has AT-AT Catfish Monsters

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Ordering Titanfall and then later finding out it features monsters was like ordering chili-cheese fries and then later finding out they feature blowjobs.  “Titanfall has Monsters??!!” read the first text I received, alerting me to the subject.  Hurriedly, I scampered to open the internets, my eager hands fumbling with the keys.  Could it really be true?  How many more aces could possibly come crawling out of Respawn’s hole?  Well, at least one, as it turns out.

The creatures revealed over the past few days represent the proverbial icing on the robot.  Their inclusion was completely unnecessary to secure our collective purchases in the first place, but it goes a long way toward validating said purchases.  By preordering the game, I already presented Titanfall with a promise ring, declaring my future intentions and extending the potential our relationship into something more meaningful.  But at the end of the day, that promise ring was only five bucks, so there’s no skin off my back if I change my mind.  If I had known about the monsters, I would have made it an engagement ring.  This new revelation is just the latest bullet point in Titanfall’s lengthy, persuasive sonnet.  Seriously, TF… I have to cut you off.  You had me a parkour-mech-bullets.  Let’s make this thing official.

 

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As depicted by the two pages above, it takes a lot of wings to fly on this planet.

 

It doesn’t hurt that the monsters, themselves, are cool-looking.  Of course, all we have to base that on is an art book and two seconds at the end of a trailer, but what we have seen so far is pretty intriguing.  The monsters appear to range in size from “Bullets will work” to “Too big to fail.”  The biggest of the monsters is a huge leviathan, with AT-AT legs, a catfish head, and a center of gravity high enough to disprove evolution.  In one of the images, the monster’s legs are depicted as looming towers in the background of a map.  It is a nice bit a scene setting, but there is no information on whether players will actually interact with any of these monsters.  I will be perfectly satisfied either way.  During the beta, I found myself at the losing end of many extended, cerebral duels with grunts.  Opposing titans routinely crushed me, often unbeknownst to them, as I accidentally walked under their legs on more than one occasion.  I really appreciate the addition of the monsters to the lore, but I won’t complain if there are a few less sky boots for my character to be scraped from.

This should be the Xbone’s killer app, which is good, since the lack of apps is currently killing it.  It would have moved consoles even before the monster announcement, but the news has definitely generated a little more excitement around the office.  I am really not sure how they kept this detail under wraps for as long as they did.  Inevitably, someone will tweet me to tell me that monsters were always part of the equation, but I like to think I am not that poor of a listener.  That would be like your girlfriend telling you she is into threesomes, and that “she could have sworn she told you a long time ago.”  No, I’m pretty sure I would have remembered, but in any case, I am looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Take it home, Jerome….  https://vine.co/v/blu0TaWzdXh

 

 

Thomas Shamburger
Thomas is one of the original creators of "What's Jump?" As a lifelong gamer, writer, and comedian, his goal is to provide readers with humorous, entertaining, and thought-provoking perspectives on current gaming news and culture. His early career successes in the business world helped to pave the way for the site's launch in 2012. As the Editor in Chief of "What's Jump?" he combines his passions for gaming, writing, entrepreneurship, and comedy.
Thomas Shamburger
Thomas Shamburger

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